Susanna J. Sturgis   Martha's Vineyard writer and editor
writer editor born-again horse girl

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Control Freakery

October 27, 2005

Maybe I should take up figure control: it's pretty clear that I can't control my dog. (If this makes no sense, see yesterday's blog.)

An hour or so ago, I went out to hang laundry. As usual, I let Rhodry off his rope (a half-rotted length of clothesline that he could break if he pulled hard enough, but he's never really tried) so he could help. Less than ten minutes later: no Rhodry. "Rhodry! Rhodry!! Rhodry, come here! Rhodry, come here!! Rhodry! Come here!! Rhodry, COME HERE!!!"

Still no Rhodry. I got in the truck to drive around the neighborhood. No Rhodry. Driving up the hill back to the house, I spied the missing Malamutt. He was sitting on the asphalt smart and sassy panhandling biscuits from Martha, who makes the neighborhood rounds regularly with her little dog, Gracie. It gets worse: turns out she and Gracie were taking their second walk of the morning, because shortly after they got home from their first there was Rhodry pawing at the back door and generally acting as if it were already Halloween.

If you're ever working the Twelve Steps and can't quite accept that you aren't in control, get a Malamutt. He'll set you straight in no time.

Tangentially related -- maybe, or maybe not -- I read yesterday on AlterNet that some people think the right-wing opposition to Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers is fueled at least in part by the fact that she's single.* This morning I read that she'd withdrawn herself from contention. The theory makes sense. Right-wing Christians think the man is the head of the woman the way Jesus is the head of the church; ipso facto, a single woman is a woman with no head.

They're suspicious of single men, too. Despite their headlessness, women are supposed to be civilizing influences; ergo, a man without a woman is more likely to run amok. I won't venture a comment on this: those right-wing men know more about male nature than I do.

Probably they could all profit from acquaintance with a Malamutt, but that's a fate I wouldn't wish on any dog, even the one who went AWOL this morning.

 
*The story, "Sex and the Single Nominee," by Bill Berkowitz, can be found at http://www.alternet.org/rights/27352/.

 

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