Susanna J. Sturgis   Martha's Vineyard writer and editor
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Who You Gonna Call?

November 14, 2005

This weekend my sister e-mailed me the Associated Press story headed "Pat Robertson Warns Pa. Town of Disaster" and asked, "Could you write a blog about this to take the pain away??" I read on:

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. - Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson warned residents of a rural Pennsylvania town Thursday that disaster may strike there because they "voted God out of your city" by ousting school board members who favored teaching intelligent design.

Generally I don't follow the fatwas and jihads of the televangelical crowd. I learned early on that it wasn't polite to stare at the handicapped or make fun of the foolish, and besides it makes me wonder if natural selection really is a bunch of hooey, at least as far as humans are concerned. On the other hand, this guy is not an isolated crackpot parading outside the White House with sandwich boards front and back; his name was actually inscribed on myriad ballots as a candidate for occupancy of said White House, and even though he lost (I think) quite a few people voted for him. So I kept reading:

All eight Dover, Pa., school board members up for re-election were defeated Tuesday after trying to introduce "intelligent design" -- the belief that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power -- as an alternative to the theory of evolution.

Well, right on, voters of Dover, Pa.!

Believe it or not, I have been thinking a lot lately about intelligent design, specifically in reference to the market economy. I think the market economy is diabolically brilliant -- "intelligent" doesn't do it justice. Think of how it tries to make you feel ugly and clueless, so that some entrepreneur can get rich selling you the cure for what ails you: diets, diet drugs, stomach stapling, and if all else fails cigarettes and booze and a pistol to blow your brains out with. Think of how it's co-opted electoral politics, the media, the arts, etc., etc., all without a single law or regulation or secret police knock on the door. Stalin and Hitler and Genghis Khan, wherever they are (Pat thinks he knows; I definitely don't), have to be insanely jealous. Depending on where you start counting, the market economy is maybe 150, 200, 300 years old? Nowhere near as old as the universe. No one designed it; it "just growed," fueled and shaped by millions and billions of choices and coincidences.

The market economy didn't have a creator; why does the universe need one? 

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city," Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club."

Later, Preacher Pat clarified his position:

"God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever," Robertson said. "If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them."

Preacher Pat reminds me a bit of the kid on the playground who's losing the argument or the game, so he says, "I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna tell, and when my daddy gets home, he's going to make you stop cheating."

Behind that bluster all too often is a daddy passed out on the living room floor, or a daddy who left home years ago.

Seems he's also taken a few lessons from the marketing professionals whose fear-mongering keeps adrenaline pumping through the consumer economy: buy our stuff or something really, really bad will happen.

Truth to tell, the good citizens of Dover didn't reject God from their city. They did, however, give the boot to his self-appointed spokesfolks. I'm sorry Preacher Pat is taking it so hard. Think how the local drug dealers feel when the kids "just say no."

 

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