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Momentum
June 04, 2006
Rhodry and I are horse-sitting again. One advantage of living on someone else's farm is that the noise I make doesn't bother my downstairs neighbors, so last night around 9 I took out my guitar, found my finger, thumb, and flat picks, and spread various sheets of music, drills, and lyrics out on a coffeetable.
This was braver than it sounds. I hadn't practiced since the day before I left for WisCon. Not playing at WisCon was inevitable, but Wednesday passed and then Thursday and somehow I couldn't quite make time to practice. Nine days. It was my longest non-playing stretch since I started learning in January.
I was afraid I'd forgotten all my chords.
I was afraid the muscles in my fingers had atrophied.
I was afraid my guitar would snarl, break a string, and bite me.
All fears dissipated when I opened the case, withdrew the guitar, slung the shoulder strap over my head, and started to tune. Yeah, the fingers were a little rusty, but they remembered and could still form all the chords I knew when I left for Wisconsin.
Momentum. Amazing how easy it is to lose it, and how scary. Don't know about you, but for me momentum is the opposite of, and the main antidote for, depression. Come to think of it, depression is sort of momentum in a downward or backward direction; it becomes self-sustaining as easily as the forward/upward kind. Putting one foot in front of the other is my best cure for most things, but sometimes I have to start by removing the weights one by one from my feet.
Fear is the usually the heaviest. It comes with numerous excuses: "I don't have time" is high on the list.
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